Estela Nunez greets students on the first day of her four-week job readiness class with a warm smile. “You look like you never had a bad thing ever happen to you,” one student remarked, implying she could never understand his hardships.
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“The typical student was just released from custody and ordered to take the class,” Nunez said. “Some have been in prison for over 20 years and many are gang members. They don’t want to be in my class and initially reject me.”
However, attitudes change during the first week “stand and deliver” session when everyone shares their life journeys.
Nunez goes first, and the warm smile is replaced with painful reality.
Born in 1983, Nunez and her five siblings were raised in Linda Vista. Their father was a janitor and mother a housekeeper.
The family was poverty-stricken, living in a small apartment. “I don’t remember ever eating meat,” Nunez said.
Her father was physically abusive, and her mother left when Nunez was 9.
“My mother left and my father’s anger filled the house with fear,” she said. “He was a monster.
“He was sexually abusive toward me beginning at age 5. My memory is of my father crawling on top of me. It lasted 13 years. He would say this was my duty as a daughter.
“He was very possessive. I could not have friends or go anywhere but home after school.”
Nunez tried to end her life at 13. At 15, when she refused his advances, he turned violent.
At 18 she left. “I walked out the door with literally just the clothes on my back,” she said.
She dropped out of high school and was homeless for two years, living in a riverbed near Old Town. Initially, she slept alone among bushes, but soon connected with a group of homeless teens. She learned to beg for money and steal food.
“I felt so hopeless,” she said. “I was doing nothing. No purpose. No direction. I was overwhelmed by pain that seemed endless.”
Her turnaround began when a man she solicited for money offered her employment at a restaurant. She worked at fast food restaurants for seven years and rented an apartment in Tijuana.
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“Something inside me refused to die,” she said.
After moving to an El Cajon apartment, she enrolled in a job readiness class and did so well she was hired to teach the class. That led to employment with Second Chance, a well-regarded nonprofit that helps participants achieve self-sufficiency.
However, she was still hurting emotionally and needed to address lingering pain.
In 2014, Nunez was 31 when she walked into a San Diego police station and reported her father’s sexual abuse that occurred during her childhood.
After being told of the difficulty in proving the case, she confronted her father and recorded his admission.
In 2016, her father was convicted in San Diego and sentenced to 225 years in prison.
“That chapter of my life closed,” she said, “I could finally look forward to the future.”
Her achievements were rapid. She earned a high school diploma in 2017 at age 34, followed by alcohol, drug abuse and anger management counseling certifications and associate degrees from San Diego City College in social work and psychology.
Earlier this month, Nunez, 43, graduated with honors from San Diego State University with a bachelor’s in social work.
While pursuing her education, she also worked full-time teaching and counseling some 2,000 students over 10 years at Second Chance. More than 70% found employment and 40% returned to school after receiving her job readiness and life skills guidance.
As for her future, Nunez is entering a master’s program in social work at San Diego State. Her career goal is to become a professor while continuing to help people turn their lives around.
“I no longer view my past as chains meant to hold me down. I saved myself. Now I get to help others by showing what it looks like,” Nunez said, citing hard work, education and believing in yourself.
“Everything is possible if you just give yourself a chance.”
About this series
Goldsmith is a Union-Tribune contributing columnist.
We welcome reader suggestions of people who have done something extraordinary or otherwise educational, inspiring or interesting and who have not received much previous media. Please send suggestions to Jan Goldsmith at [email protected]
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